a couple, vacationing from cleveland or essex,
arrives, in Kharon's ferry, at the gates of hell. The man can see the sign but cannot read it.
"It's a sign, dear," she says.
"Oh, lovely, what does it say?" the man replies. She can read it, but she hesitates.
"Oh," she says in subdued astonishment--not sure if she should read it aloud.
"What?" he says, "what does it say."
"Well, it's a greeting, kind of," she mentions.
"Honey," he insists.
"'ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE'" she quotes.
"Oh," he replies, "that's awful."
"Well, it's not SO bad, I guess," she says encouragingly.
"Abandon all hope ye who enter here," he quotes aloud pondering the significance. A look of dismay overtakes him.
"Well, look at the bright side," she says cheerily. He slumps up slightly. "At least they went to the trouble to tell us."
"Hm?" he replies.
"I mean, they went to the trouble to inform us which is very courteous when you think about it. At least we know what to expect."
reintegration sans Ovid
I
and then a prophet who shall remain nameless
(but his initials are: suicide bomb) said:
how do I know that Moses
didn't have a putting green
on the ark of the covenant?--
with Adam and Eve in a skiff in tow
being careful to stay dry
because (it doesn't say they were kilned
like other pottery
and) having been made of clay they might
disintegrate with contact with moisture
such as rain or drinking water or sea water
i.e., what's true is that that's that
you see, I wanted to believe this stuff, but,
but then reality said: why go to all the trouble
of making 'em out of clay when
they could just as easily adapt
over millions of years
from ancestors of ancient
chimpanzee types?
that's when it occurred to me that
I would rather subscribe to concepts
that were at least factually accurate than
dodge facts in an effort to
preserve gross obstacles, y'know?
II
and having obeyed the advisement
of bringing two of everything on the earth
with him on the ark, Moses was glad
for his forethought that he had advised
the pizza place to build a similar ark
for, having brought only two pizzas, he
would soon need to have a pizza delivery
because he had already eaten one pizza (cold)
and the other pizza (also cold) would soon.
And Moses feared that the pizza makers
on the pizza ark may not have brought
provisions for the duration of the flood
and would be forced to eat their pizzas
III
in his haste to bring two of everything
(two golf clubs, two cephalopods, two gaseous nebulae),
he had forgotten to bring two specimens of
homo sapiens sapiens. Fortunately, Adam and Eve
(made of clay) had had the instinct to lash their skiff
